


A Figment Kiss Given in Reality

by Life_0r_Death



Series: Paradigm of Love [3]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, References to Depression, Romance, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Slice of Life, paradigm of love, tutorshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24580075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Life_0r_Death/pseuds/Life_0r_Death
Summary: Bastion found out he was in love with Jaden and gave him a botched confession. Now, too ashamed to face the Slifer head on, Bastion does all he can to avoid him. But, Jaden is having none of that. Rather, he's got words for Bastion and the Ra student is going to hear them no matter what.
Relationships: Misawa Daichi | Bastion Misawa/Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki
Series: Paradigm of Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758052
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	A Figment Kiss Given in Reality

**Author's Note:**

> Huge shoutout to my YGO Discord server. Those guys give me HUGE inspiration to write and collaborate and just do amazing works. Seriously, thank you all for being amazing and helping me to become better. <3

He was a coward. An absolute and utter coward.

One week had passed since Bastion’s  botched confession. His heart and soul ached, feeling paranoia afflict him like a festering wound. He cut off all contact with Jaden and his group. He refused to  interact for study sessions, lunch meets, or Shadow Rider plannings. His excuses? He had tons of them: he was behind on exams and needed to study alone, he already ate, and he no longer had a Shadow Charm w hich meant the Shadow Riders were no longer after him. He was of no use to the team. Because of this,  no one really asked where he went. They didn’t  seem to care. Except Jaden. He tried, continuously to contact him. Bastion had been too afraid to return any of his calls, texts, or remain within the same vicinity for more than what was required.

This followed him.  When he went to class, Bastion chose his  arrival carefully. At first, he ’d show up right as the bell rung, rushing to his seat without much of an issue. It wasn’t like he was the only student that required a few extra seconds to sit down. Jaden continued to be tardy, unable to get up earlier than needed . Bastion, also, only had early morning courses—besides Duel Monster classes—with Jaden. Luckily, the Slifer was always on the chopping block for those later sessions, and his professors didn’t seem to need Bastion’s involvement since he had such achieving grades.

There were a few times when he’d catch Jaden’s glance. He’d look away, like the coward he was.  Anxiety would build, leading to the suffering of his cuffs,  threads and fabric being ripped apart by his blunt nails while his face pinked with shame.  As he continued to hide away from the brunet, h is thought process concluded that Jaden would eventually give up. He’d stop looking for a reason to catch Bastion, to berate him for confessing to him, maybe even let him down gently.  Not that  Bastion could n’t handle that. It was the aftermath that scared him. Syrus, Chumley, Chazz, and so many others already stopped talking to him when he fell off the face of the earth. They didn’t care. What was to say Jaden wouldn’t do the same? If it was going to be that route… Bastion wanted it to be on his terms.

Things changed, though. Going to class on time started to yield results of a tired Slifer student waiting outside  just early enough to attempt capture of Bastion .  That first time he’d seen the brunet, all hell broke loose. He was shocked, standing in awe at the graying bags under Jaden’s eyes—wrinkling his tender skin and making him appear like Atlas with the world on his shoulders. He had yawned, closing his eyes and turning his head in Bastion’s direction. He’d dashed around the corner, heading into the men’s restroom. He hid within a stall until well after the bell rang, going out when it was certain that Jaden had been forced to attend class.

It had continued like that for two days, Bastion’s cowardice increasing his anxiety as he sat upon a close-lid toilet with his books resting on his lap and his nails painfully ripping the skin of his cuticles until he bled. Each time the bell went off, it was like a sharp shrill that cascaded Bastion’s psyche, making him itch and fret before he’d have to splash water on his face and return to class. 

His attendance started to suffer.  Crowler noticed, calling him out when he’d enter the classroom and sheepishly make it to his seat. He’d catch Jaden’s gaze, his heart stuttering then shattering at the implications of his neutral expression. Was he ready to give up? Part of him celebrated for it meant that Bastion could steel his nerves and explain away his confession like water. Another part cried… hating how right he was about Jaden’s care for their friendship.

When he could, he’d glance over while Crowler droned on to steal a peek. Jaden would continuously stare at him, making his cheeks red and his head light. Syrus seemed to be trying to get his attention quite often, but Jaden would ignore him in favor of staring at Bastion. At some point, even the little blue-haired Slifer turned to his direction, forcing Bastion to sharply turn away.

He really was a coward, grabbing his books so fast when the bell rang and rushing out of the room before Jaden could even stand.

The next day, Bastion got a talking too. Not from Jaden, thank his luck. Rather, it was Crowler who pulled him aside after class and berated him for being exactly six minutes late—three per day. The talk had forced Jaden to be dragged off by Syrus and group, unable to wait until Crowler was done. It was a bit of luck, but Bastion still had to calm down the blonde professor, letting him know that he wasn’t planning to jump off the school roof next.

Unable to be tardy anymore—for both Crowler and his heart—Bastion changed tactics, much like the Slifer had. He started to show up to the classroom 20 minutes before it began.  Starting at 8am sharp, Bastion doubted Jaden could make it any earlier than 7:50am. Because of this, he made it a point to be in his seat by 7:40am everyday for the rest of the school year.

His heart would insistently beat, waiting to be questioned for his early arrival. Crowler, however, must have believed he scared him into coming back on time. Bastion took advantage of that, writing trajectory schematics of how he’d continue this pace for the rest of the school year. He just had to last until his second grade. By then, for sure, Jaden would give up in his pursuit and Bastion would be alone by his own accord.

It only worked for one single day.

The next morning, when Bastion arrived early with his books held against his chest, he was quickly assaulted. Jaden came from behind him, having got up even earlier than Bastion, and had pushed him back into the wall so quickly, he was stunned. Jaden’s hand had cradled the back of his head, preventing him from racking his skull against the cement while his other arm slammed against the wall by Bastion’s left elbow.

“Finally! Caught you.”

Jaden, despite being an inch shorter, used his body to cage Bastion. The fingers on the nape of his neck curled in his hair, feeling the strands almost affectionately. Bastion curled his arms around himself tighter, face turning to the left. He averted his gaze, unable to stare into the angry and unforgiving ones before him.

His face felt like it was melting off.

“J-Jaden... W-what…” He swallowed, his words caught in his throat. The Slifer took advantage of his stunned position, leaning in closer until they only had a couple of inches between their faces. Bastion thought about sliding down the wall to crawl under the arm caging him, but with how close Jaden was, his opportunity was missed. If he did that now, he’d be fact to face with Jaden’s crotch.

Two fingers carefully came up to the green sweatshirt poking at the top of his neck, extending the fabric to release what felt like steam. He knew he was blushing like a shameful fool.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all week, Bas.” Jaden’s fingers on the back of his neck slide around, following his jawline until his index and thumb gently grasped his chin. Breathe stuttering, Bastion’s head was forced to turn head-on at Jaden’s. He kept his eyes glanced to his left, his teeth biting his lip.

“I’ve… been busy.”

“So busy its made you late for class? Now extremely early? And what about my calls? My—” Jaden paused, turning his head to yawn. A storm brewed in the center of Bastion’s chest, his eyes flicking to the dark circles under Jaden’s eyes. He looked like he had stayed up all night just to be sure to catch him. Had he?

Jaden’s eyes caught his for a moment. Bastion quickly flicked them away again, attempting to turn his head, but Jaden kept it forward. His lips parted, a small quivering breath escaping. Jaden seemed to pause, his thumb gently rubbing Bastion’s chin. Wasn’t this too intimate? If Jaden wanted to end their friendship and throw him to the darkness, why was he elongating it when these gestures and caresses? Or maybe, Bastion was just dreaming all of this up. Jaden was really a foot away and Bastion was just delusional into thinking he was pressing him against the wall with no escape.

“Last week,” Bastion flinched. Jaden’s other hand slide closer, his abductor pollicis longus rubbing against his deltoid. Jaden seemed to pull in an inch closer. Bastion swallowed, “you asked what I would do if I knew you loved me.”

>>>

Bastion clamped his lips shut, arms tightening around his books. A small groan of leather and paper followed his grasp, his textbooks hating how he treated them. But they were his vice, his only grip on reality. Well, other than tearing the cuticles of his thumbs apart. As if following his train of thought, his index fingers began to pick at the text covers with a small click. How annoying. Jaden must have hated it, wanting him to stop. It’d be good fodder to use as why they couldn’t be friends anymore, especially if he wanted to be polite about it. Maybe Bastion should speak first? Tell Jaden that they had a good run, and he adored his friendship—no, no. ‘Adore’ was a terrible word for this moment. He cherished? Enjoyed. Yes, enjoyed their friendship, but it was time they went their separate ways. That would work wonderfully, give him the control and make him feel like he broke it off before Jaden had. He could live with that…

“Do you… still love me?”

His traitorous heart skipped a beat. His eyes finally landed on Jaden’s, watching his brown irises drip with curiosity and a tinge of sorrow. He felt the thumb upon his chin stroke his skin, leaving behind goosebumps. Following down the line of Jaden’s face, he found the brunet’s cheeks to be pink. His heart jumped again. Ears became unbearably hot while he was fully aware of Jaden’s fingers on his face and on his arm. His breath mingled with the Slifer’s. He imagined that if they were outside in the dead of winter, their cloudy exhales would dance together. He wanted to see that.

He didn’t want to lose Jaden.

Bastion’s mouth opened and closed like a gasping fish, unable to find his words. Jaden’s torso came in closer, his thigh brushing against Bastion’s. He flinched for a third time, heart thumping so hard in his chest that he thought he might be having a heart attack.

Finally, his mouth opened again, his full intention on saving both himself and Jaden from tears and grief and sorrow. But all that came out was a stuttered,

“I… do.”

There was a pause. The hand beside his arm slid down the wall, resting closer to Bastion’s hip. Fingers gently cupped his waist, kneading the muscles while a heatwave overtook his body. Before him, all the sorrow and slight anticipation burned away while a bright, genuine, and beautiful smile overtook Jaden’s lips. A pressure built at the bottom of Bastion’s eyelids, his teeth pulling at his bottom lip again as he stiffened in Jaden’s pseudo-embrace.

He wanted to kiss him, but he knew it would just end in disaster.

“Bas,” Jaden tilted his head, his pink blush growing a bit darker as his brown eyes trailed down to his chin, watching his own thumb caress his skin. Bastion exhaled, lips parting just slightly. Jaden’s eyes flicked to his lips. He tightened his hold on his books, preventing a squeak from escaping.

“I don’t know if it’s love, but I really like you. You’re smart, handsome, clever, and I like being near you.” 

With each adjective used to describe him, Bastion’s face grew hotter and the tips of his ears were scorching. His heart was beating a mile a minute. He just kept thinking that this had to be a figment of his imagination. He was sitting in class, eyes closed and lips pursed for an imaginary kiss that would have the whole classroom laughing at him. Jaden would look over and finally confirm that, yes, he didn’t want to be friends with Bastion anymore. He was an embarrassment, easy to forget, and most certainly not kissable. He’d never kissed anyone. Why would Jaden want to do that with him? Why would Jaden even like him if there were so many other far more worthy choices around him?

Alexis was considered the prettiest girl of the school. She showed interest in Jaden on several occasions in her own, slightly absent way. But Bastion could see it. Could see the following eyes after Jaden’s person and small sighs that escaped her lips. And even if Jaden was interested in men, he had so many other choices to pick that he could tell had an adoration for Jaden in a similar way: Chazz, Zane, Syrus, even Atticus.

Despite the tingles and near spilling of tears down his cheeks, Bastion knew this was a dream. Nothing was real. It just wasn’t possible.

“Can I kiss you?”

Bastion’s eyes widened, dark irises meeting curious brown. The pink blush was still there, yet a slight embarrassment seemed to develop. The hand upon his waist squeezed intermittently, as if holding itself back from wrapping around him entirely. The thumb on his chin had stopped caressing his skin, brown eyes now flicked down and staring at his slightly parted lips. He swallowed, closing them for a brief moment. Something almost predatory flashed in Jaden’s eyes.

Bastion wanted to feel those lips before him, slightly parted as well. They looked smooth and soft, like he’d never kissed anyone before. Had Jaden reserved his first kiss? For him? This had to be a fantasy of some sort. When would he wake up? When would the laughter of the classroom pull him out of his dream, of his embarrassment, of his desires?

He swallowed, his right hand slowly coming forward. His palm pressed against Jaden’s chest, the black T-shirt sending electricity throughout his body. Jaden’s own eyes flashed again, his chest leaning against his fingers. He could feel the lean muscles of his pectorals beneath the cloth. He wondered, again, if his palm touched Jaden’s skin, would it burn?

He really should push Jaden back, and end the dream.

“Yes.” Bastion whispered, “kiss me.”

The hand on his waist moved before his second word, pulling Bastion’s lower back and rear away from the wall to slide against the curve of his spine. His breath hitched as his chest pressed against Jaden’s, his textbooks and arm leaving the only space between them. Jaden’s fingers and thumb travelled away from his chin, following his jawline again to the back of his neck.

He was pulled forward, gently and delicately. Shivering, Bastion closed his eyes. His slightly parted lips met against Jaden’s, a tight press that had him inhaling deeply like a gasp. Jaden tilted his head, pressing forward so the back of his palm rested against the wall, Bastion’s head cupped against it. He didn’t know what to do, fingers on Jaden’s chest curling, clutching the black shirt like a lifeline.

A thigh pressed against his own, making him flinch in the kiss. Jaden held him close, fingers curling in his hair while his palm kept him slightly arched. Inhaling like another gasp, he could smell everything about Jaden. His sunshine, his unique aroma of fabric softener, paper, and shampoo. He’d never smelled Jaden before. He’d never been so close to him.

That made this all the more real.

Jaden’s lips parted more, Bastion’s following just a tad. He shivered as he felt the brunet’s tongue slide against his bottom lip, poking at the slight opening he left. His lips quivered, Jaden’s closing but parting again against his own. What was he supposed to do? He knew that a kiss had several types and stages. A peck, which is what this one started as. A make out was next. Bastion just had to part his lips, let Jaden slip his tongue within and let it explore. He shivered again, hand tightening on Jaden’s chest. He wanted to let that tongue explore, but he didn’t know if he could stop there. He’d want so much more.

He flushed darkly at his indecent thoughts.

Slowly, he tilted his head the other way. As he moved, their lips broke for a second, but Jaden delved back in, his head turned to follow Bastion’s movements. The change left his mouth open more, the tip of a tongue slipping into the beginning of his mouth, a strange tingle from having another’s appendage and saliva move closer to his own. His pressed his muscle forward, the tip poking Jaden’s.

“Mm..” Bastion’s pressed closer, hands slipping on his textbooks. The sensation of their tongues touching sent zings coursing through his nerves. He wanted so much more. Opening his mouth, he could feel Jaden’s tongue begin caressing his cheek—

“Why do we have to have an 8am class!? It’s too early.”

Jaden’s lips pulled away from his own, a small click between them as Jaden’s tongue audibly pressed against the roof of his own mouth in distaste for being interrupted. Bastion’s cheeks continued to burn, his hands once more tightening around his books at his chest as he leaned back against the wall. Jaden didn’t pull away from him, hand still on his lower back while the other slid down his spine to join. His forehead slumped forward against Bastion’s shoulder, his chest leaning entirely on Bastion’s.

He breathed slowly, his face so hot and his body warmer with how close Jaden remained. He didn’t… pull away… like he thought he would.

Two Ra Yellow students came into view. They chatted quietly, glancing once at them before ignoring them the rest of the way into class. Even in this compromised position, Bastion was still invisible to the world. He couldn’t tell if it was a blessing or a curse.

Jaden chuckled, body vibrating and jumping against his chest. He felt the ghost of lips against his pulse point, startling him and making him both gasp and flinch. Jaden held him tight, arms preventing him from running or turning away. He… didn’t want to.

“Don’t run from me anymore, Bas.” Jaden’s voice buried in his neck, but he could still hear it loud and clear. His arms were pined to his chest. He couldn’t move them forward to hold Jaden despite how much he wanted to. Despite how much he didn’t deserve to.

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

Jaden pulled back just enough to let Bastion’s arms move, the Slifer’s hand coming up with a pinky extended outward. He stared at the appendage, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. How childish. But looking to Jaden’s face, he could tell that the brunet thought it was both very serious and yet silly at the same time. He lifted his hand from his book, interlocking his pinky with Jaden’s. His hand trembled at the burn between their connected skin. He really liked this.

“Promise.”

Jaden grinned. He rolled off Bastion, leaning against the wall beside him, twisting his hand so all of their fingers interlocked instead of just their pinkies. The Slifer’s shoulder bumped against his, rubbing and warming his side.

“Good.” Jaden chuckled, leaning his head on Bastion’s shoulder, making his face burn once more with embarrassment.

“I-I’m sorry. For avoiding you, Jaden.” Bastion’s voice was nearly a whisper, his teeth biting his bottom lip. Thinking on it, his reasons had been sound: prevent Jaden from spiraling him into a tunnel of self-loathing and hate. It wouldn’t have been the brunet’s fault, no, never. Bastion just knew himself, knew that the disgust and rejection from the Slifer would have left him empty and void. He had needed to build up his courage and his strength to do the rejecting first. That had been his reason. But now, looking back, he realized that Jaden had never looked at him with disdain. It had always been a slight sorrow along with an agitating need to communicate. 

Jaden had been the bigger man while Bastion had been shameful.

He tightened his hold on his books in his arms, leaning his head down just a bit. Fingers squeezed his in their tight hand hold. It drew Bastion’s attention back to Jaden, whose own eyes were looking back at him with swirling emotions.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Bas. Hell, you had all the courage in the world to tell me how you felt. So casually too! I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you for weeks, and you did it so smoothly. I wish I had your bravado. Maybe we could have done _this_ sooner.” Jaden winked at him. He didn’t think his neck could match the heat on his face, but it did. The kiss was… fantastic! And it wasn’t even the full kind. There… he wasn’t sure what he’d do. Probably die.

“You… liked me for weeks?” His voice wavered as he stared at his feet. He couldn’t hold Jaden’s eyes. They burned and looked into his soul; his cold meteor atmospheric soul. Jaden didn’t let him do that for long, his fingers pressing under his chin and turning his head to look at him, lips parting in a thought to kiss him again. He wanted to be kissed again. To have Jaden’s hands burning all over his body, caressing his skin and turning him into a puddle upon the floor. He wanted Jaden to hold him and never let go.

“You’re the most amazing person I know, Bas. You’re strong, handsome, athletic, smart, and super fun. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while. I was afraid you’d reject me, so I chickened out a lot.” Jaden chuckled, his fingers releasing his chin to rub at the back of his head. In their interlocked hands, Jaden’s thumb caressed his skin. It was intimate and nice and wonderful.

He had to have passed out in the classroom. There was no better explanation for this.

“I know this is out of order since I kissed you and all,” Jaden started. Bastion bit his lip, tasting Jaden indirectly upon them, making his face so hot that he was going to crumble. The male before him squeezed his hand, pulling his eyes to stay connected with his. The brown irises flicked to his lips, before he cleared his throat to continue, “but will you go on a date with me?”

Those warm eyes stared at him with curiosity, adoration, and nervousness. Bastion swallowed, his heart racing in his chest.The innocence and the beauty before him wanted to take the nerdiest and most awkward student of all of Duel Academy on a date. As much as he thought this was a dream, it was lasting too long. It was real, and Bastion wanted it to be real.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Jaden’s once more. The male before him kissed back, lips remaining in a peck form but making his hands sweat and his toes curl nonetheless. When they broke apart, Bastion’s breath mingled with Jaden with only centimeters between them. He whispered,

“Yes.”

Jaden giggled, hand coming up and pressing against Bastion’s cheek. He moved forward to kiss him again, only stopped by the school bell that rang for the beginning of class. Clicking his tongue, Jaden pulled back, but kept his fingers interlocked with Bastion's. He pulled him forward toward the classroom, grinning and beaming like he’d won a prize.

As they went into the classroom, Jaden forcing Bastion to sit beside him and Syrus, he realized several things: in a matter of moments, he’d gained not only his friend back, but acquired a date. And even further, his fingers coming up to touch his lips as Jaden beamed at Syrus about fixing their argument, he’d given something precious to the brunet that no one else would ever have in the world.

Jaden Yuki had been his first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to First Kiss/Peck.


End file.
